Wow its July already... hmmm... Have not blog for like nearly 2 months.. lol..

The fact that I am so engross in the PSP games and I just can't be ass to switch on my computer.
Hmm Nothing much happening in my life I suppose..

Except that Jiawen new name is Yen Ling now.. Yen ling a ling a ling, ling a ling a ling.. So cute ^_^... Oh Yer, Start working at Urban Fairways now. Pretty good money and I do enjoy it.. I mean afterall its golf related.. The only shit thing is that its very far.. I mean its good to not have to answer to customers as I am just entertaining them.. Not like waitressing, I pretty much have to put on a happy face when I am not and I have to cope all the complains when I am not the one cookinG? yer, Done with working with FnB.

Wat else.. hmm... Golf is pretty shit at the moment, just can't get the swing right.. sigh sigh.. Oh Exciting news though. .I am getting my new Nakashima Irons, I already got my driver, they rock my world. .They are really good man..

Love life.. hmm... still pretty much avaliable, kinda use to being single now.. Really enjoying it and so carefree.. so many choices.. Right now I just have to focus on Golf anf getting stronger.. Well, I need to stop getting fatter.. sigh.. Yes I am FAt... I don't understand, why my life is always revolve around my size and weight.. why? WHY? I mean if i have a choice, do u think I want to be fat? NOOOoOooo.. I do more excerise than normally thin girls who are born lucky and don't have to do a fuck to be skinny.. How is that fair? how can human beings be so judgemental? I am sick of all these shit.. as much as I keep telling myself that I must love who I am and I can't help wat I am.. But ppl just have to rub it in and demoralise me every single time.. Whst's wrong with the world? Are they happy criticising ppl? Is it that fun?? I don't see a point, I don't think its fun either..

Oh well, enough of the unhappiness. Life goes on.. I think I am just feeling sick right now.. That stupid medicine that I took is just crap, make me feel so groggy.. its like a hang over with no alcohol.. gosh.. =_=" CLubbing is boring to me now, maybe cos I have been there done that and I hate being hang over...

I have been thinking back the past.. The time I have been with my ex's... Brad now have a new GF... N fuck the shit when he says :" I just like being alone." Fuck off.. It just makes me feel like a bad GF.. Moron.. It's not like I still have feelings for him, he wasn't that great really. we don't really have anything in common.. Love is blind I suppose, until u take one step back and look at it carefully.. then u realise how foolish one person can be.. But hey.. I learn and I moved on.. Just pissed off and don't understand why can't be friends after we break up.. Cos he thinks his so good and I am still all over him? Bleah~ I have to admit that I was happy when I was with him though.. Just the way he ended off just felt like he giving me excuses cos his sick n tired of me already, N ready to find a new girl..

Man are all like this isn't it.. Break up today find a new girl the next day. Give the nickname that they gave their GF to the next one straight away. Sad so sad.. There's no true love anymore.. its rubbish rubbish rubbish....

OK I am talking alot of crap... haha ciao ciao..

Cheerios.. :)

well here I am blogging.. WOW.. amazing right.. COs its less than a month ago..

YEsterday I played like a totally Idiot x 10 at JCC.. why.. COs I played with a lady name M_ M_ H_ _ _... HATE HER!! I was so frustrated being in the same flight as her.. wow.. I never know someone can get onto my nerves so much.. SHe have so many irritating habits.. Don't get me wrong.. SHe is a really lovely person off the golf course..

Sorry.. I swear like 1 million times on the golf course today.. sigh.. I today have the capability to shoot under par.. I am hitting it so well... 14 greens in regulation with 35 putts.. and 2 on a Par 5 with 3 putts.. WAT THE HELL.. .SO stupid.. Stupid mistakes makes me angry.. VERY ANGRY.

OH well... I still don't know how to keep my cool.. ANy suggestion for me to vent my anger except for swearing? sigh sigh.. I am trying I really am.. But... It really gets to me man.. anyway.. Had a photoshoot few days ago at Keppel.. Was kinda interesting.. saw the photos and it was not too bad.. but GOsh I am So fat ... sigh sigh.. Lose weight Jiali lose weight.. ANyway.. I will be on Golf Asia Magazine in 2 months time I think.. Can't wait to see it.. As in.. Really excited about it because I am hoping I can attract some potential sponsorship.. cos its just really hard..

Finding MOney is a Bitch.. trust me.. Lots of goals to achieve these few months.. Isnt it great to wake up for a reason? hah tomorrow.. is dun tanning.. yes I know I am very tann already.. I want to get the rest of my body tann.. get rid of the yucky shirt tann.. Bleah~

OK better sleep early.. Long long say ahead.. Cheerios..

5 days to go~ ^^

Ok Hello Everyone,

I have not Blog since forever and ever.. JUst been busy with golf as usual.. haha Greg my coach have just been so encouraging so I been trying hard to do my hours. Well.. I guess I am improving slightly.. a little at a time.

Anyway, lots of things have happen in just this few months.. LOTS OF THINGS.. Alot of family things that been very frustrating and I think its a fine line before someone is really going to CRACK.. Like seriously.. sigh.. Been really sad seeing everyone like this.. But I am not the one suffering of course.. I always try to be very neutral towards everything.. N my new found buddy been a great help for listening to be winch.

His works for the army and he bring my respect to army personnel to a whole new level. Lots og things that he do to keep the country in peace and quiet. His been great.. always lending me a listening ear.. and he really motivates me to do alot of things.. Really glad to have met him. :)

Apart from that.. everythings been well I suppose.. Have not win any tournaments yet so far..BUT I am sure there will be some coming... HOpefully end of this year I would have really improve.. I have a feeling that I just might be able to do it.. I been doing the right things,I just need some confidence!

Been feeling sick all day today.. CAn u imagine I lost my appettite? its like so not possible for me to lose appitite .. This means that I am quite sick.. haha.. Oh welll.. I am feeling better now.. after rolling around in the car for a bit.. Also went to the Army Gallery thingy.. the show is really nice and I get to fire some shots! wow wow..I totally enjoy myself today.. it was awsome!

Ta dAh~~

Ok I know I havent been blogging about it.. but my life have been pretty boring..
Nothing much have happen.. except for playing exceptionally bad in OCC Ladies Open.. Dont know why it always have to happen on Ladies Open.. I have not play anything more than 76 for the past presvious 10 rounds.. Until I play a competition.. I sucks big time..

Although I try to convice myself that its cos I am sick. but still shottin 39 and 48 is just stupid.. sigh.. anyway... My ankle have not recovered.. sickening.. Went to the doctor for 5 times.. n finally got some improvements.. I just have to stop stressing my ankle.. next week I can start practising again I hope.

Well.. you guys might not believe it.. but I havent been out clubbing since forever.. ok ok. maybe just 1 month.. haha but its quite a long time for me.. Just dont feel like going out and I am just so tired everytime.. My favourite past time now is.. Chill and Relax at home watching Mike He Jun Xiang.. Seriously.. He is my soul!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! okok.. I am exagerating things.. but He is good..

hmm... deleted a few numbers from my phone.. mostly idiots.. who dont keep their promises and no point being friends with.. No more being miss Nice girl and be Nice to them.. its pointless.. If they can't be bothered with the friendship we use to treasure or friendship I try to maintain.. then FUCk ThEm.. Cos I know I deserve better.. Lots better.. Don't need people in my life who dont treasure me for who I am.

I am grumpy man.. I am so sick right now.. sore throat and my nose is like a running tap.. sigh.. sigh.. sigh.. I been thinking about alot.. about relationships, about life.. n lots of other things.. n i come to a conclusion that I don't think I will get married.. It's like.. a nice so many guys who wife is soo beautiful.. I am serious like.. they are either ex models or air stewardess.. but they still go out and cheat on their wife.. why? Why men can't be satisfy with what they have and wat they chose? I am so scared I will have to go through it in future.. so I might as well don't get married.. so there will be less expectation and less hurt ... NO Guys in the planet is worth it.. Yet we still need them.. FAn Jian i suppose.. Life goes on..

Who really cares anyway? Everyone is too wrapped up in their own happiness to notice me. How long can I take it? I am so tired.. Everyday I wake up.. I just feel totally meaningless.. sad.

Things Jiali Been doing

- Being stupid and getting hurt.
- Talking to Geri alot on the msn
-WEnt to Tampinese mall with Geri and sang Ai Lai Guo for the trip there n back home.
-Geri finally see my dog
-Geri finally met my Husband name Ah He.
-Play lots of golf with Mitch
-Sprained ankle while playing basketball
-Ankle still hurting but still playing golf and gym'ing
-Went to the SenSei and the Fucking Ankle still havent recover.
-Trying to rest now so it better recover tomorrow!
-Lost 3kg since Jan!! 7 more kgs to go
-Have a bet with La La. see who can reach goal weight in JUne. Loser run range 50rounds.
-BEing jealous about Amelia
-Pulled out of JOhor OPen cos they are pure Jerks.
-Hate man to the core.
-Gonna trying something different on Saturday.
-N i think I am gonna look Hot.
-Gonna see Brad finally after 5 months.
-wow.. scary..

So... its Daddy's birthday today! Happy Birthday Dad.. We love ya!

We had lots of fun and took lots of photo! :)

Had dinner at Edagawa a Japanese Teppanyaki restaurant at Central Food was good.. :)
But I think I am so jealous.. I think.. Seeing my sisters having someone to love and someone to love them back.. Its a silly thought isnt it? But I think its just harder when u have sisters and they just influence u one way or another..

I mean I can get one right now.. But I am picky... As in... I want the best and I got certain standards and all of them don't meet it. N i dun wanna settle in for something I dun like and feel disgusted with.. Ya feel me?

Its all so confsing and complicated.. I dun even know why I am feeling like this.. I mean.. being single is great in a way.. but.. do i prefer to be with someone? Maybe I am just going through a phase.. I need to put my concentration all back on Golf..

ANyway, Last Saturday we went to Movida, me, BElinda, Gavin and Adrain.. The Vodka is Soooo Nice! yummy.. Didnt get too drunk.. but I had lots of fun. Music was great. company was great.. I had fun~ =)

Lets go back to golf.. I didnt take part in the HSBC qualifier.. I know I want to.. But I don't want to.. I wanna be able to do it and have a good chance to make it and shine before I do it.. Does it Make sensE? I wanna get in and Impress.. I think right now thats the best solution i can think of. I am 22.. 23 this year.. I have a thought.. If i can just play a big game.. Make the qualifier.. then there u go.. I will be a star then I will be ready to face the tour circuit. its just a thought.

I have a long way to go. I am struggling with my swing.. I hate practising short game.. and I am looking for something that is missing in my life.. Why do I always not get things that I want.. Or things just doesnt go my way. .Or should I say.. I always think so Naive.. always thinks that everyone is nice.. they are not going to do me harm. they think like me.. But I am so wrong.. it doesnt work that way..

I wanna be nice.. I really do.. But how do u define a nice person? how can u show them that u R? But why do u need to show them ANyway!? so many weird questions runnign through my head.. People say things and dun do it. People do it but dun mean it.. People Mean it but take it for granted. its a vicious cycle.. A sad sad world..

I will devote my time into golf.. Put myself in a little bubble and get away from everyone.
That's super not me.. But i think its the only way to keep my focus.. I hate people.. I hate them.. I hate them all.. Stop hurting me.

Takes 1 min to Like a person.

1month to fall in love with a person

1 year to be with a person

and takes u eternity to forget them..

why?